Textual

  • Woke up this morning (after St. Patricks) with a massive hangover. Looked to the side of my bed, ...
  • I've been upset because my gran, who practically raised me, is really sick and I don't have the m...
  • Went to McDonalds a week ago to hang out alone, sat by the window, and the prettiest girl in our ...
  • I work at a candy store. Today a little boy, about 5 y, and his parents came in to buy sweets. Th...
  • I found out that my favorite author added me on facebook and is reading my blog. She thinks I hav...
  • Last week, it was very, very cold and freezing rain left ice all over the place. I was walking t...
  • I was taking my goofy dog for a walk last night when he spotted a cat under a car. He kept walkin...
  • My father passed away recently. We used to joke around a lot, and I wrote a letter for his casket...
  • about 6 months ago, my cat passed away. after mourning for her loss, i went to the shelter to lo...
  • Today, after a long and hard fought battle with my weight, I went and bought myself a dress for a...
  • Tonight, at the cafe where I work, a guy came up and started his order with "Your mission, should...
  • Whenever I need something from my hubby, I always yell, "BA!" and he runs in and says, "Yes?" Wel...
  • Today I was sitting in my dad's office waiting for my dad to get done with work, because he's the...
  • I was driving past a church in a small village near where I live in Scotland and saw a poster out...
  • I was lying in bed and my cat was sitting on me, trying to wake me up by putting his paws on my f...
  • Today, on a beautiful sunny day I heard the growl of a motorcycle coming down my street. I glance...
  • Today while at the store a middle-aged man walking ahead of me tripped and fell flat. I went ove...
  • When I was eighteen, I worked at a department store.  One of my store manages was a quiet older g...
  • Don't ever tell your parents that the doctor told you to masturbate to "alleviate pain" in a cert...
  • If you have beets for dinner, be sure to clean up right away. If you leave the dishes until tomor...
  • While on your way to a fancy dress party, dressed as Freddy Krueger, resist the urge to scare chi...
  • Dumb idea: Going outside without shoes to take a call because you can't get cell reception in the...
  • Don’t tell your boyfriend you need him to literally make you go to the gym. He will take it lite...
  • When attempting to tell your friend that his girlfriend made you look like a fool, make sure not ...
  • (i saw my dad on icanhazcheezburger.com) Me: you're a 47 year old man looking at cat pictures D...
  • [Mom buys a sound-system for my birthday. She finds the song Happy Birthday by Flipsyde on my iPo...
  • (when I was 16) Grandma: You've been dating your boyfriend for a while... Have you talked to your...
  • *my mom kept correcting my dad on a dessert he used to make with his dad as a kid* Mom: You're d...
  • [Two pretty lady friends needed a place to stay for the night. Next morning Mom catches us on ou...
  • *After I accidentally sucked part of an ice cube through the straw in my drink.* Grandpa (to my ...