Bacon, Best cooked with your shirt on. #LFMF

The ginger woman at my work recently announced that she is pregnant by her black boyfriend. She w...

Do not tell your four-year-old she can get a chinchilla if she saves her allowance for it. At ag...

Never assume that your cat knows the difference between her litter tray and the large, square pan...

Don't blame your seven-year-old cousin for something you did. He's seven, not two, and can indee...

When falling off a bike, it's always best to actually try and catch yourself instead of clinging ...

Hot glass looks the same as cold glass. Really, even if it stood 3 hours next to a camp fire, a n...

I hit a foul ball over the neighbor's fence and assumed the "BEWARE OF DOG" sign was just to scar...

When a friend asks you a question that requires smelling something, don't do it. #LFMF

never, never put bubble bath in a hottub with jets.

When you win a gum ball from an arcade game, make sure it is, infact a gum ball, and not a bouncy...

I locked myself out of my car... While it was running... In the Taco Bell drive-thru. #LFMF

I was very careful to put the cap on my pen before putting it in my pocket. Not so careful about ...

Don't use shampoo when you run out of dishwashing soap. My dishes still taste funny. #LFMF

Before smacking a "giant spider" on your own forehead, make sure it isn't just a stray lock of ha...

Don't forget that your background is a half naked hot chick when taking your laptop in to work wi...

Did you know you cannot gargle honey? You can however, violently choke on it. #LFMF