When your six year old daughter tells you she is making a pot of coffee for you, never assume she...

If someone asks you to guess her age, refuse. You may think you're being kind and clever by under...

If a recipe (such mac & cheese) calls for milk and you only have chocolate milk, make something ...

Don't compliment a woman on her cute little boy unless it really is a cute little boy. And when ...

on the night that you propose to your girlfriend, for god's sake remeber to bring the ring. #LFMF

When the Dr says to mix the fiber laxative with your normal breakfast drink, he doesn't know that...

I had to bring my little girl dog to the groomers today to get rid of her unruly fur. My boy dog...

If the cat doesn't want to eat the odd smelling bacon you are offering her, don't assume she is b...

When hiring a clown for your three year olds birthday party, first check to be sure he dosen't ha...

Note to all lifeguards; Correct: "Mrs. Black would like to see her children, poolside!" Incorre...

When you have your 5-year-old and her friend practice their numbers by counting their toes, make ...

If your 3-yr-old is carrying the cat towards the kitchen muttering "kitty needs a bath," it's rea...

Chocolate Milk does NOT make Chocolate Cottage Cheese

When you ask your cousin for what bird cannot fly don't always expect "penguin" or "ostrich" Espe...

When you ask your wife what she wants for her birthday and she says "You don't have to get me any...

When an old friend pops up on facebook and you're so excited to see him that you write, "He's ali...

Don't fill a pinata with red candy that can melt, unless you like allot of crying children. #LFMF

Told my sister's 4 year old daughter at a fancy 5 star restaurant that caviar was made from "nemo...

My local mall has a couple of 80's style table arcade games. Today i saw two small kids banging o...

my husband and I were coming out of the movies and a little boy looked at my husband's artificial...

Mom: Oh here's the thinning scissors! Me: Oh, well do you know how to use them? Mom: Yeah, ju...