'What's new on your front?' is a good way to start an email conversation with a friend you haven't talked to in a while. Unless they're undergoing male to female transgender surgery, in which case the answer will be 'breasts.' #LFMF
When coloring blood on a character's sword, do not use the color "Santa Red." The implications of this are not funny once you really think about it. #LFMF
If you are laying in the hospital getting your chemotherapy, do not pull your blanket all the way up over your head so you can get some sleep. When your mom comes in to bring you your snack, she WILL scream and the staff WILL come running.
If you are having really bad nosebleeds, do not collect the blood in a bathroom Dixie cup. Do not allow it to coagulate. And DO NOT play with the resulting blob. Your mother will be scarred for life.