(Me and my Mum walked into Kmart behind a gay couple holding hands.) Mum: Oh my God! Look at th...

Me: Hey Dad, why did you and mom have me so late in your marriage? Dad: Well, 18 years ago, your...

Dad: Our entire family seems to have prostate problems. I have it, your grandpa has it, his fathe...

(Dad discussing if table center piece at the Japanese restaurant was edible or not.) Dad: At fir...

When in church and the pastor singles you out to ask "What do you thank God for?" responding "Yog...

Dad: I did alot of crazy things when I was a kid. Me: Like what? Dad: Well once I did a whole b...

Fallacious is a fancy word for wrong in philosophy. It is not good to giggle everytime you read t...

When you are clearing out that mass of hanging vines, don't assume that thing that landed on your...

No matter how angry you are, it's never right to brawl your coworker in a company-sponsored sauna...

When walking past a pond on your way to the bus, don't text and not watch where you're going. You...

(My Dad and I at Burger King) Dad: I want a whopper with extra bacon, I want a large fry, I want...

(My date and I about to leave.) Dad: Oh, and kids! Don't forget, stop teen pregnancy- take it in...

(I went out for sushi with my grandma. She just gave me the Heimlich after i choked on the sushi ...

(There was a priest who visited my great-grandfather after my great-uncle died. He was looking at...

Make sure your co-workers know you have a diabetic pet before letting yourself be overheard sayin...

Right after my husband and I got married we were sleeping and I rolled over. At the same time, he...

Good idea: Put the music for your new belly dancing choreography on your MP3 player, so you can r...