My bestfriend (who is of an opposite gender) and I have had a really close friendship since we me...

Mom: *reading paper and laughing* Me: What's so funny? Mom: I'm reading the obituaries

Mom: Be good. If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, name it after me.

Me: It must be hell getting old. Dad: Just remember something: I made it; keep it up and you may...