(while showing family my brother's graduation photos, in which he posed with his guitar) Me: I w...

Me: Dad, did the Tang Flowers or Ming Vases come first? Dad: The Ming stuff. Me: Cool, thanks. ...

Mom[Immediately after changing her profile picture on Facebook]: Oh, looks like I've got a friend...

(Me doing my homework at age 17) (Dad walks in) Dad: What are you doing? Me: Science homework ...

Me: Hey Dad, why did you and mom have me so late in your marriage? Dad: Well, 18 years ago, your...

(Dad hits rumble strips while driving.) Me: What are those for? dad: That's how blind people dr...

(Mom had left for a business trip and it was just dad and I by ourselves) Dad: So, you wanna get...

Dad: Hey son. Me: Yes? Dad: Wanna know where babies come from Me: No no plea- Dad: The Game

Dad: I did alot of crazy things when I was a kid. Me: Like what? Dad: Well once I did a whole b...

Me: Dad you wanna take the garbage out for me? Dad: Not really. Me: You wanna help me with dish...