(At my Grandmother's funeral) Dad: Wow, there are a lot of people here. Mom: If only they knew ...

Dad: "Deer! Look a deer!....Oh wait no, it's only a dog." Me: "Um dad...that's a goat."

Mom: "Why do I smell oranges...? AM I HAVING A STROKE?!"

Mom: When you were a baby you always laughed when you were naked so I thought you would grow up t...