Never tell your friends that you are extreamly afraid of goats, even if it is for a good reason. ...

Mum: GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I BURY YOU UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS!! I'VE SEEN ENOUGH EPISODES OF NCIS To...

Mom: Do drugs, get pregnant, become a crack whore, ANYTHING! Just DON'T drop the cheesecake!

Me: I get to do the flour project! Dad: What's that? Me: It's when you carry around a flour sac...