Dad: What's that one game everyone's playing? Dead Cats? Mom: ...Angry Birds? Dad: Yeah, that.

Mom: You know I hate glitter. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world.

Younger Sister: Why are your notes on the Spanish Inquisition titled "The Spanish Inquisition is ...

Dad: Vegetables? That's what food eats.

(Out to dinner with my 89 year old Grandma) Waitress(to G'ma): What And what would you like toda...

Mother: (Leaving the house) No parties, no boys... Me: Why boys? Mother: I don't know. Me: Can...

(Discussing getting a 4th tattoo) Me: You know I'm 18 so "technically" I don't have to have you'...

(After trying to sneak up on my step dad who was holding some cheese.) Step-dad: NO! I AM THE CH...

If you're at the movie theater with your child, when you ask the snack counter if you could "get ...