(talking about my new boyfriend) Mother:(asking me) "How can you stand kissing him with his big ...

- On my 21st birthday My mum: Oh! You're so grown up! Sometimes I wish I could just put you ba...

Me: Mom, your button is coming undone. Dad: What, you don't like to see your mom's cleavage?!

(To my sister) Mom: Dont drive in heels. Dad: Yea, its hard. Me and Sister: How do you know!?

Mum: I'm going to call you tarmac chest. You know, because tarmac is really flat.

Mom: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A BOY!!!! Me: I'm sorry my genitals were not to your liking! Mom...