Those bath salts you shook liberally into your jacuzzi tub before going downstairs to get your gl...

"As shown above" sounds formal, but "ASS shown above" does not. #LFMF

Don't ask your parents what they did for Valentine's Day. #LFMF

That guitar song you just showed your friends is called Shewolf, not Shemale. #LFMF

Don't carry your lip balm and nasal inhaler in the same pocket if they have the same shape becaus...

When just waking up from having a nice long sleep, don't roll over and hug your pillow as tight a...

When telling your co-workers, "It's my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, so I probably won't be gett...

There's a reason you should drink a full glass of water with a capsule pill. With out it, the pi...

This flash maze game IS a screamer. And tomato juice won't make the scary face dissappear. Yet, i...

Make sure your mom is aware that pot can be incorporated into baked goods. Especially if she's a ...

Never tell your 10 year old the old saying "Those that can't do, teach". They will repeat this a...

Trying to put on pants while walking is a bad idea. Trying to put on pants while walking toward a...

If your GF said the you shouldn't buy v-day gifts for each other, and you do as she said, she'll ...

When writing business correspondence make sure you pay attention to your typos. There is a big di...

Before you order a clown for your 2 yr old neices birthday, ask her parents if shes afraid of clo...

Good idea: singing in the car. Bad idea: singing in the car after dental work. Sure it sounds hi...

If it is windy and you are wearing a skirt, hold it down at all times. #LFMF

Don't ever leave the access panel off the entrance to the attic crawl space. You will get a terri...

I dye my hair odd colors to express my indivuality, just like everyone else.