By SovaPlum on Jul 7, 2014 at 10:49 PM
Arentee Arentee Arentee! Iz mee Fanta!!1 Ai bisited ur howes an der izza STRANGE homin der! Ai HISSED at him but he went AWWWs an called meh MANGO!!!! Aim nawt Mango aim FANTA!!! U maek ihm goes awaee pwees! is horrible wet hair ai kawt a rat an let Katsanuvverbruvver plae wif it wif me. Ai hass anuvver bruvver naow. Ai didunt liek him but naow ai am teh Big Bruvver 'beanie wont plae wif me but katsanuvver dus sew ai liek him naow. We had a Big BANG BANG storm. Ai was NAWT skared! Ai liek it undar teh bed. Izza gud plaes to eats mai ratz. Ai liek teh heads best. Iz krunchee an gushie at teh saem tiem! Hair izza rat 4 u naow u hom. *nudges decapitated rat onto transporter, enters 4arentee@arenteehowse*
By SovaPlum on Jul 7, 2014 at 10:28 PM
Ohai Sylviag! Welcome Home! Did u get tiem fur a breather afore ur May the Forth of July Be wif U? It sounds liek u had a GUD vaekaeshun! Did u win enee kittehs in Gamble Town? __ When ai got hoem larst nite der wus a line ov peepuls at mai male box putting munnies into a steel box der. Dey wudunt let me see wut it was! Dey saed "EYE wus hear afore U!!!" Sew ai rung up teh Polites an dey tuk teh steel awaee. Dey saed ai wood need a Gamble Town liceunce afore ai kood habs it bak! Dem had bettah be sum AWSUM choklits! __ OH! Yes! New Zealand is a Big Fishie (North Island) and a Big Wakak (canoe (South Island)). Te Waka belonged to Maui (him a god) an he fished up the Big Fishie wut we libs oan. Pretti gud god, eh? ___Hurrycanes der, Cyklones her, TYPOONS uvver wheres. Eberyboddee got der oan werd fur Huge @#%#^& Storm. ___ Ai throwed a rok at plaidcats but insteed uv gettin awl mad an thrown one bak she got awl happeee dansin! Aim gonna try agaen when ai find sum gud slingshot ammo. hehehe. __ Is Icy Gales todae. Ai hanged sum wind socks oan too mai car while ai wus at werk. Dem is dang near froze stiff! Ai sends u sum den ai gotta get off. Fanta is being a rite Bossy Britches. *locks bulging windsocks into sturdy box, heaves box onto transporter, enters Open @ Your Own Risk*
By Sylviag on Jul 2, 2014 at 1:17 AM
LOL - u an PC tossing roks at eech odder?
By Sylviag on Jul 2, 2014 at 1:15 AM
Yep, we hittted the road and iz bak nao - full ob gud memories and fun times. Las Vegas waz the crazy town az always. But Yosemite and Zion parks were ossum and voolunteering wid teh kittehs at Best Frens the bestest. So u lib in a fishy?? LOL ALl ob teh pikshur ai hab seen and read abowt NZ - iz so bery byootiful. Ai neber understood why dey call it cyclones in Pacific Oshun and Hurrycanes in Atlantic?? We had 95F todai - ai waz as wilted as week old luttus left in teh sun. Ha to barke down and turn on the AC. We nawt like to uze it much cuz it eetz up electicity - munch, munch. So ur fwee bweezes bery halpful. Sending u slot machine from Vegas wid kitteh treats and choclit for u. If u match three kitehs u get lifetime supply ob toona. Whrrrr, whrrrr, chinka, chunka, clank. Iz bery hebby but will get der ebentually.
By SovaPlum on Jun 14, 2014 at 7:13 PM
Ohai Sylviag! Iz u hitted teh road yet? Since teh Big Blow ai has enjoyed sunee daes wif gentle brezzes. I libbs in the Winterless North! Imagine Nu Zealand assa stingray. Nose ponted at teh South Pole. Got dat? O.K. Sew imagine teh tail near teh base hassa bite owt ov each side. Net base bite oan the rite is Auckland Harbour, Auckalnd is NZ biggest city. Teh higher, bigger bite oan teh left is teh Kaipara Harbur. Biggest Harbour in the Southern Hemisphere!!!! I libbs at teh bottum end ov the Kaipara Harbour just above Auckland. No sno, hardlee anee droughts, teh occasional tornado (itty bitty ones) ana buch ov Cyclone (aka Hurrycanes) per year. ___ Ai haz bean collecting cool brezzes fur mai Meerycan frenz. Just rite fur teh summah vakayshuns! Ai sendin sum fur ur gchild and kittehs an sum maor inna chilly bin fur u an Bryan. *attaches windsock to interwebby tubes, enters www.https://sylvia&bryanshowze.org* ___ *puts chilly bin on transporter, presses RVofS&B*
By Sylviag on Jun 14, 2014 at 12:42 AM
Hallo SP! Ded burdie gibben a proper burial in a box. All my kittehs went tu teh viewing, bowed der heds and sed teh Burdie In Heben prayer, and commended ur kittehs for a keen kill (only a few fedders missing) Foofany got direkt limo sebice tu teh webding an dansed wid eberywun. She an teh odder gurls did a congalashuns line danse :) Oh my, u bedder pray tu teh wedder gods! Glad tu heer no damaje tu ur howze but I bet was skary. Wer u lib, du u get snow tu? We leebing on a 2 week RV road trup tomorroow. May not hab much wifi next cuppel ob weeks. Oldest gson howze and kitteh sitting eggzept for Shasta the Elder and her roomie Sonny. We tuk dem to kitty spa today. Shasta needs tu be fed gushies fud at least tree times a day and Sonny neez tu be coaxed inside cuz ai nawt want him tu be owt at nite. Waz tu much to aks of gson as he haz tu take kare ob teh 4 indoor kittehs. Dey may try to sneek tu ur howse cuz wen Mom and Dad away teh cats will play LOL Since u haz teh winter and we haz teh summer, sending you bg hed ob lettus frum my gweenhouse to make delishus salad. Puts lettus in salad spinner, turns the crank and poof shud be der. xo
By SovaPlum on Jun 10, 2014 at 10:28 PM
P.S. While typin teh previous, ai had tew taek a dead burdie owtside FOUR tiems!!1 Hare, u puts it in teh kitteh enclosure. *puts dead magpie in shoe box, puts bos on transporter, presses EEEW GET RID OF THAT!*
By SovaPlum on Jun 10, 2014 at 10:23 PM
Ohai Sylviag! Fank yew fur posting Foof & Teh Fiahmans to KSO. She shur gets teh bestest takehome prize frum teh Prom! Ai hope she maid it to Kamp in tiem fur teh wedding. Wusn't it a Grand Okayshun? Tabini memebered to bring me sum bacon shrimpy fings. Delish! __ Ur gchild sounds liek mai nice no 5. She a jumper! Ebbery year hur and teh same 3 gurls met at teh inter school champs. Taek turns at winning an cheering each uvver on. Is berry gud sportswumminship! __ Is us kold yet? U bettcha!!! Winter arrived on kue. June 1st = Arctic Blast. 1st snow in teh South, 1st ski fields open!!! Ist frost in teh North. Most uv mai Bizzy Lizzies died. Izza gud fing dey sew tuff an will regrow. Dis week = 2nd Arctic Blast: Teh Big Wet. Iz bean rains fur 3 daes. Floods North & South. Larst night teh storm shuk mai howse an ripped trees owt ov teh ground (nawt on mai hows, but). Pwr owt lots uv plaeces. Emergency crews up awl nite. Ai expekt mai sissyfur, teh parafixit, wus volunteerinf wif teh Volunteer Fiaffiters. Hur nu job is wif an events co. But she nawt teh type to sits round wen ders HALP! needed. OOOOOOH! I just hassa ideah! U an Bryn shudd watch Monty Pythons Teh Life of Bryne! It hassa singalong @ teh end!!! _ Nao tell meh about ur summah!
By Sylviag on Jun 8, 2014 at 10:37 PM
Late receet ob dem kissies :) Had fwen visiting las week an den buzy weekend. Wached gdau play fastpitch softblol. She bery gud batter. Bery slim and tall but haz sum serious muscles! Iz getting kold der? Ai sended Funny Foofany LOL tu KSO. xoxxo
By SovaPlum on Jun 2, 2014 at 2:48 AM
went 2 bed 20 minuets ago, post dated sum kisses XXX
By Sylviag on Jun 2, 2014 at 2:03 AM
Fank u! Did getz a liddul pink arownd teh edges an teh lubly vera will hal muchly :) AI lubs John Cleese in many odder fings (like Fawlty Towers) but for sum reeson neber got intu MP. Ai sabe it for my old age wen ai sit in rokker wid kitteh on my lap an we wach clips of MP tugedder. We will boff laff an laff eben if my brain not so gud by den. We woant kare. Shud be bery intresting at kamp dis year. U seed teh new forin eggchanje Kamper :) And Kibby and Bosco iz mentors to Robin Banks. A most unlikely pare tu mentor anyfing! Gonna blow u sum kissies acwoss teh big waters and go tu bed but so glad ai seed u furst.
By SovaPlum on Jun 2, 2014 at 1:42 AM
Ohai Sylviag! Welcome bak frum ur Kamping oardeal. Iz u o.k? Dus u need sum ointments? Hear is a stalk (wut is u sposed to kawl bits ov cacti?) ov aloe vera. Iz Sovereign Cure for kamps. *wraps piece of aloe in tinfoil, puts on transporter, presses Make It So* U not a big MP fan? Habs u seen teh Parrot Sketch? habs u seen (DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun (dat Jaws geddit?)) The OTHER Parrot Sketch? De furs won is funneh! Teh OTHER won maid me larf sew hard dey nearlee kalled Dr TinyCat! ___Tabini & Fanta seems to bee obserbin teh Truce of teh Kouch during arfter dark. Mainly kawse is too cold to knight naps alone. Katsanova dunt seem to mind. He kan nap eeny tiem, enny wear. btw I totallee bet dat Foofanny and Mick J find SUMFING to set on fiah! Dems just teh types to bring owt teh WORST in each ovver!
By Sylviag on Jun 2, 2014 at 1:26 AM
U mus like Monty Python. Ai neber got much intu dat but lotz of peepuls here like it.
By Sylviag on Jun 2, 2014 at 1:26 AM
Wavy wavy my plummy fren. How you and the fur kidz? Peece in teh fambly yet?
By SovaPlum on May 31, 2014 at 2:30 AM
Ohai Sylvaig! Fanks fur teh salad. Ai goes splash sum whiskey dressin oan. Make a Gud after dinnar snak! Kamping? MEH?!?! Iffin ders no flushy litter bowl an no inside hots waterfall U KAN KEEP IT!!!! Nao GO TO BED!!!. btw doan to 12 pags. 2 of dem mine! *puts hotwater bottle on transporter, presses Send Directly To Bed*
By Sylviag on May 31, 2014 at 1:35 AM
U only haz nineteen pages nawt sorted! U oberLOLcheever :)
By Sylviag on May 31, 2014 at 1:34 AM
Getting reddy tu go tu beddy bye. U tired me owt :) My faves is like 400 pages an ai keep trying to sort them intu mai speshul kolleckshuns but ai fave mor dan ai sort. Iz a losing propishun aifinkso. AI needs tu hire soumwun LOL Prom last til tomorra nite so u haz muchly time. We went kamping wid fambly an frens 4 days las weekend. Waz bery funz. Tomorra yungest son spend teh nite an Sun fambly go tu lake for pickynicky an water funz. If water tu kold ai hab beech funz. U eber go kamping? My gweenhowse is busting wid shrubbery. Putz hed ob lettus, radishes and gween onyuns for u salad in weelbarrel and gibs it big push.
By SovaPlum on May 31, 2014 at 1:24 AM
Ohai Sylviag! B.C is delbbered two B_Frydae. Ebberywon shud no his NAWTY sekrit, afinkso! As fur me. Ai has had an EXHAUSTIVE Catturdae. Furst ai wus get up @ 8:30 to fed teh bois. Den ai wus onlee allowed tew go bak to Napland till 10:30 affor ai had tew habs noms, put oan sum laundri den run maiself RAGGED tidying mai Favs. Pgs after pags! An I keept seeing funnehs ai had sworn to maek one dae. Twodae! And SEW manee fings tew delibber to folks, an burpstaes ai missed - shame! Eventually ai dragged myself awae tew watch GOT Special Features - Jamie Lancaster Totally soundz liek SUM UVER DUDE!!! DEn teh bois awl attcked meh sew ai new it wus noms time. WUT a Bizze Dae! An ai double pwamised maiself ai wood NAWT go to teh Prom until mai favs is tidee. Is nzwt lukking gud! Ai mae habs tew break dat pwamis! Wut u doin?
By Sylviag on May 30, 2014 at 11:11 PM
SP. Gasp, chortle - luv ur BC, Pleeze tu memberz tu send tu Black Friday. We hassa need fro dat wun. How ar u?
By SovaPlum on May 22, 2014 at 1:24 AM
O*hick*! oopsh. hehehe *hick* dat Jamie! Yoush goin awae frum flusssh toiletsh? NO hotsh and *hick* uning wahtar? EEEWWWW Shend meh ur kittesh! Ai skri*hick* skrithch em four ush. ooooh rum shpinninshing! Wahrsh mai remote?
By Sylviag on May 22, 2014 at 12:16 AM
Enjoi! We just gotted teh thurd season and so lukking forward to it. We has avoyded anyfing dat mite tell us abowt it. Duz puter cownt as hevvy machinery? Iffen ai doant see u soon, we iz going kamping ober long weekend in US (Memorial Day) and no puters allowed. Iz akshully gonna read a real buk! Fanks for teh likwid pik-me-up hugz to u and ear skrtiches to teh kits. mine may sneek ober tu see dem as we haz to leebe dem home.
By SovaPlum on May 22, 2014 at 12:08 AM
*SSSSLURP!* Ah! Pina coldada! Dats Just Teh Fing for watchin teh Game Ov Throwns. Ai is haves a GOT Barathon. . . ooops! Marathon. Dem typos. Iz da gremlins, aifinkso. ___ Fank yew fur ridding mai howse of ratz. Ai wus gettin TYRED ov cleaning mai carpet! ___ Indeedy. Mai bois habs been taking Shameless Advantage of teh pooters Spa Retreat. Der coats is awl eggstra glossy frum teh pettings. btw Aim NAWT talkin to a certain "techie". He dun custoomer supported meh Rite Owt Teh Doar. ___ Noa ai is popped mai corns an put sprinkles oan dem sew is tiem to watch sum MOAR GTO. Now 'memeber teh drinking game rulz! Is Thorsday sew ebbery time Jamie saez sumfing nastee u drinks sum of DIS *puts mead into cocktail shaker, adds frozen marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles, shakes vigorously, pours into a large wide mouth glass, garnishes with a sprig of mint, puts on transporter, presses Do Not Drink And Operate Heavy Machinery*
By Sylviag on May 21, 2014 at 11:47 PM
"disapeeer" Geez I can't even do LOLspeak without typost!
By Sylviag on May 21, 2014 at 11:46 PM
Oh noes, dsappeer not diaper ROFL. Teh puters hab mind ob der own - we haz created monster - dat we kant lib widout. DIdju tell teh "halpful" techie he shud get a job mowing lawns cuz he no gud wid teh puters. Glad it feeling much better nao dat it all purred, ai meen tuned up. Derz rats in the cellar, derz rats on teh roof, ai wabe my majik wand an make dem awl go poof! Teh kits prolly nawt mind u haz no puter cuz dat mor time for dem. Fanks for the cookynut! I put in teh blender, add sum rum an pineappul and make pena koladas. Puts big frosty glass on conveyor wid liddul umbrella for u.
By Sylviag on May 21, 2014 at 11:28 PM
Aaak SovaPlum - doant diapeeer until ai reed ur msg. Ai hazza bin missing uuuu!
By SovaPlum on May 20, 2014 at 10:04 PM
Ohai Sylviag! I just noticed teh larst msg ai sended u has bean eated! Ai fought teh Cheezelords fixed dat. Maebee it wus mai pooter? Fur about a month or sew much strange has bean interupts mai pooter tiem! Ai wood tri ebbery trick ai no an get maebee half an ower. *sights* Ai finallee called teh support service an dey saed "Oh I know what that is. Your upgraded security file is too big for your computer. Just allow me remote access and I'll remove the upgraded program and reinstall the basic security program." Then the nasty oik KILLED MAI POOTER!!! $%^$%#^&! It took awl week fur teh bizzee techies to fix fur me. Or mae bee mai pooter was enjoying teh treatments sew much it didunt want to come home. http://cheezburger.com/8195152896 Once ai gotted it bak ai has had to do sum reconguge. . . .rekonfog. . . put it awl bak how ai liek it! But teh gud nus is, teh whole tiem I has bean typs dis, Tabini an Katsanova has been pleaing chasey skweeky! Ai feels tteh head splorts building up! ___ But but but how did u know ai feed teh ratz oan teh conveyer belt at werk? Did sumone tell on mee?! Pweese to nawt tell mai bossladee. She saez she hazza rat recipie she awlwaes wanted to tri. Aim nawt shur if she's joking or nawt! btw Did u really apply teh "grass" anally? Dat wus just meant to skare awae teh kittehs! ___ Ai grated a bigg coconut teh other dae. U habs sum. Puts it wif ur breakkie fast yogurt! *puts bowl of grated coconut on transporter, presses Make It So*
By Sylviag on May 2, 2014 at 10:04 PM
Hopes ur wedder awl settled down der. My bad - ai toled the brat catz tu cleen up after derselbes! Ai punish dem by only gibbing dem twendy insted ob thurdy chin chukkers and eer skritches. Accck o teh rat! Ai doant know how but sumhow a small birdie got intu teh outdoor encloshhur (teh mesh iz purty small too). Awl ai fownded awl ober teh howze was fedders - no liddul karkass. Ai hates tu fink dey eated him, beek, feet and awl. Dey awl had "mitey hunter" luk on der faces. Poor burdie. Oh ai is shur t grate purrsonal sacrfie u eated teh melted icy cweem. Didju share wid teh clan? ROFL - teh grass sownds good but nawt teh method ob applicashun. Putz rat trap (jus in kase) an big hunk ob aged cheddar (u mite want tu jus eet dat and gib teh rat wadded up lumps ob oatmal on conveyor belt an pushes button,
By SovaPlum on Apr 30, 2014 at 3:19 PM
Ohai Sylviag! SEW eggsrat kittehs eh? That explains a LOT!! Ebbery time ai camed home dis week mai howse wus a MESS. Ai fought ai just had imagined vakuming kause ai too lazee to do it propper! And teh RATZ! Half eatted ratz. Quater eated ratz. Mysterous vanishin rats. __ Dus u no how SPOOKY it is to sea a rat bein carried into ur howse (Fanta) at nite an den NAET find it teh next mornin? I ebben crawlled around oan my fours looking under couches an fings an it wus GOAN! Plus. Habs u ebbber seen a kitteh carry a ratz OWT (Tabini) of ur howse? I nos sumfing wus up. But what? Habs u founded EXTRA rats in urr howse? ___ I no wut u mean by Friskie Sluts. We gets teh samples in teh male box (NO nawt DAT male! Teh won wif teh letters'n'stuff). Ai bowted a baggie kawse mai bois liked it sew, but dey woodunt eats it. Must be diffy frum the sampliscous type, aifinkso. ___ Lukilee teh storm cawsed kar krashes wusunt me. Teh wurst that happend to meh wus no powar on teh won moring ai kood transpsplort to Cheezeland. *traumatic flash back. "ARRRGH" runs pets Tabini for a minuet* And ai had to eat awl mai melted icycreamy. ___Ur Eester sillybrashuns sounded berry healthsum an sensible. An dem choklit cherree tarts u sended wus delihsymo. Fank yew! Aim afeared awl dem bisitin kittehs habs drunk/rolled in awl dis summar's nip oil! Great Ceiling Cat ai hope ders a sekret stash sumwear. Or der might be . . .twobble. Dunt tell mai bois but ai hidded sum dried "grass" inna airtight tub fur purrsunal use. U can has sum! *check there are no cats in the house, puts grass into sealed plastic bag, places bag into box labeled "Veterinary Medicine, Apply Anally", places box on transporter, presses Make It So*
By Sylviag on Apr 28, 2014 at 12:52 AM
ROFL - you makes shur he duz teh dishes befor u offs him.
By Sylviag on Apr 27, 2014 at 9:24 PM
Hai hai hai! Did Fanta, Tabini an Katsanova notis 4 eggstra kittehs lurking arownd? Wen we had nu floor an carpeting put in the Moanday after Eester, teh kttehs had tu be lokked in teh laundry rum during teh day for tree days! Dey left note for me dey waz going tu visit ur kitteh klan cuz dey bery pissed at us. Dey sed dey brot der nu fave fast fud treet, Friskies Party mix, Beach Crunch tu share wid ur kits. Dey addickshunned to dem an turned intu Friskie sluts LOL. How ur kits getting along nao - who alph, beta and ceta (iz der such a fing?) Awl dis upheeval kept me frum spending much time here. We boof feelin muchly bedder fanks tu ur tea enhancer - ai tells our doc he sud pwescwibe it tu eberybody. Eester waz ber fun wid lawn games, lotz ob champayne (went bery gud wid teh tea enhancer an creme de menhe eggz), ham aspargas, tatoes and tree difrent kinds ob kakes (brot by fren). Sounds like ur Eester az weather wild! U haz a kr krash ? :( Hao did dat happen and u OK?? Fanks u on Eester tree. Bryan also hangz big plastic eggs on a reel tree in bakyard - bery festib. Sending 4 bz ob Bech Crunch via Nyan Cat an bg of dark chocklit cobered tart cherries for u. Ai iz addikshunned tu dem and Bryn haz tu hde dem. lub and hugz to ebrybody.