Grandma noticed her cat was pregnant Grandma: (yelling and angy) I'm so sick of everybody havi...

me: i want to dye my hair black. grandmother: but you'll look like one of them nemo kids i see i...

Brother: "Why is your tongue so blue?" Me: "Oh, I had a jolli-" Dad: "She saw the Blue Man Grou...

Me: Hi, I was just calling to let you know that my e-mail address changed. Grandma: But, do you ...

Mom: (after winning the Jeopardy game) haha! now you have to be my slave! Dad: as long as you us...

*Looking at my grandparents wedding photo on their 50th anniversary* Grandma: I don't look pregn...

(After my brother had been in the shower for a long time) Dad: You'd better not be spanking your...

Mom: Do you want some Tylenol? Son: Nah, I took some pills dad gave me. Mom: Did you ask what t...