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  • No matter how much you adore the pure awesomeness of Benedict Cumberbatch's deep sensual voice, d...

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  • When you have teenage children do not try to get frisky on the couch. They wake up unexpectedly ...

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  • If you are asked to bring in a piece of music as inspiration in a Creative Writing class, do not ...

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  • When opening a package in which you do not know the contents, do NOT do it in front of your kids....

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  • Never feed your gerbils while the cat is in the same room. He will grab a rodent before you real...

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  • When watching a movie in the cinema, be careful not to think of a funny joke you heard earlier. I...

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  • When a string of men all give you big smiles and occasional winks on the train, it's not because ...

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  • When you get up from you computer to answer the door make sure you zipper is up. Those at the do...

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  • When going to a nightclub that uses blacklights, remember that your shirt is thin and your white ...

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  • Good idea: Doing a S&M photo shoot. Bad idea, scheduling a OB/GYN appointment for the following d...

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  • Never base your toilet plunger purchase on which one is cheapest. Trust me.

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  • Always be aware of how far your top gapes open when you have DDD chest, even though it shows no c...

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  • Remember this: It is a cosmic impossibility for speed-shaving to go unpunished. The six cuts on m...

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  • When you have a mouse infestation at work and they have just placed poison, check where you walk ...

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