bajio6401's Favorites

Horror stories

The Deals Just Aren't Worth It

There's Klingons on the starboard bow and they're playing hell with the ship's aerodynamics.

I've never liked your hair up. AND your Mother's a pain in the ass.

After 10 bowls of Guinan's Solar Chili, Picard was going to incapacitate the Romulans with the old "pull my finger" ploy.

Two Brits and an American walk into a bar...

Space and Time Travel is Tough on the Bowels

EL - E - VATE! EL - E - VATE! Floor 23, please.

It's at a time like this that I wish I hand hands.


You take a fresh manicure out for a run through the cow pasture. TSK, TSK. Now we have to do it all over again.

Y'all can't use the bathroom at the same time. So, who needs to use it the worst?

I get the feeling that things aren't going to go well for Norman this go around.

You plan on going to the mall and not take me along?

You know, I don't think this two-headed mutant otter thing is going to work out. I mean, how are we going to swim with that human attached to us?

I was wrong. You can have too much coffee.

MAKE IT SO! How does that sound?

Shatner's new toupee needed a wig wrangler

They gon't give me enough treats for this.

My human needs new glasses. He tied me to the reading material when I needed the bathroom.

My girlfriend thought I was rude for yawning while she was talking... I wasn't yawning, I was trying to say something

How mortifying! They should have used a Fritos bag.

Yes, that one there. And could you gift wrap it for me? I forgot our anniversary.

The nursery attendants were going nuts trying to get all the puppies to the viewing window at one time.

I don't think I understand. You went to the shelter and you adopted a kitteh? Why would you do such a thing? WHY? Were they out of dogs?

No, I need the chisel. Overheating problem. Some cookies stuck to the motherboard.

Timmy! give me that super glue! You're never going to the Zoo again!

Hello, Prudential Intergalactic? You're not going to believe this...

There's nothing like a soft Scottish breeze blowing through yer hair . . . or up yer kilt.

When the realization sets in that that wasn't a whoopee cushion he just sat on.