bluemacncheez's Favorites
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Me: My cell phone won't stop vibrating. Mom: Well, put it somewhere nice.
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Father: (On phone for half hour with telemarketer) "I'm not wearing any pants right now!"
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(my dad just came out of the bathroom) Dad: MY POOP IS BACK TO NORMAL!
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Mom: Text your friend. You need to explain to her that our car smells like pizza so she doesn't ...
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Mom: "Why do I smell oranges...? AM I HAVING A STROKE?!"
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