When being stopped by the police because of a "search for a rapist," "Ok I'll do it" is no accept...

When you point to your abdomen and say. ' I can't wait to get this effer out of my uterus' the ot...

Never skip the apostrophe in the contraction who're. The meaning changes dramatically. #LFMF

Dad talking in his sleep: Obama stole my freakin deer head!

(While shopping, looking at figurines) Stranger: I collect ceramic cats. Dad: I collect shrunke...

Me: My boyfriend is beginning to look like a cross between Abe Lincoln and a wolf-man Dad: So h...