doom75's Favorites

  • Mom: Where are you going? Me: Uh, ya know. just gonna knock over a 7-11, go to a strip club, bea...
  • When camping, its a good idea to bring a flashlight with you when leaving the tent to pee at nigh...
  • When prank calling a plumbing company, remember that the woman on the other end of the phone has ...
  • Mom: Hum the Star Spangled Banner Me: Why? Mom: Well is it patriotic? Me: Yeah (I hum it for ...
  • When your husband accidentally pushes the table forward with his gut, be careful when making fun ...
  • As a mother, ALWAYS lock the bathroom door. Otherwise, your 3 year old son will walk in and freak...
  • When explaining to your kinky GF and her (undoubtedly kinky) father what it was like to drive thr...
  • When in a certain armed force and you are on a live grenade range, never quote the Monty Python h...
  • Take your new girlfriend seriously when she explains she has a high sex drive and actually worn o...
  • As a female never admit to being a Trekkie there will be a long line of obsessed fans ready to p...
  • If you suffer from wedgies when you go to yoga class, wearing a thong doesn't solve the problem. ...
  • Mum: Are you a lesbian? That would be gross. Me: Didnt you tell me you dated a lesbian for six ...