(Me closing my laptop, teamspeak automatically logs out): Dad: Son, I'm using your PC for a sec....

(Meow from outside door) Mom: I hear a kitty! (Opens door) Mom: Wait, where's the kitty? Was t...

(While I'm getting ready for work.) Dad: Hey, did you get some coffee? I don't want your white c...

(Talking to my ten-year-old cousin about Pokemon while celebrating my uncle returning from Iraq.)...

Me: Dude, you really need to call the landlady in the morning. Mom: I am not a dude, I have lady...